mama ...

Last night was been told my grandma sent in hospital again. It was the second time. She rejected to eat, and keep vomiting, mother told me. She is having Alzheimer, live like a kid now.
Mama like to treat us the hard milo while we were (with my sister) kid. When the milo not fresh, it will became pretty hard, and mama like it, so she gave it to us.... Time pass, she is very independent even she is almost 70+ while I was born. She live with us when I was kid, and after we move the house out of island, she still insisting to live in that beautiful island. Her husband leave her very early, the time dad born. I have never meet grandpa, and seldom heard about him. When I gowning I was soooo busy until I forgot I have a grandma. I was study 300+ km away for my degree and due to the financial situation I seldom go back. Until I start working, what I remember was, I bought the foods and snacks she likes, that's all. I needs time to take care of her, but I never think off her time is limited. ....
Today morning, sister message me and asked me to go back visit her if is possible. I was searching for the flight and it was really cost a hand and leg. I really wanted to go back, unfortunately I'm couldn't make it. ...
Live is short and time never wait for you, thinking something still can delay, but it might not what you're expect. She is my grandma, but I seldom talks with her especially when I went to visit her, she doesn't really remember her pass that I am interested. The moment when I entered to her room, it was just lovely, my grandpa photo everywhere. She always remember my grandpa and live with his soul. More than 60 years, she never want to remarried, and still working to feed herself. I am really admire her. I like the way she is smiling, and I wish she can smile now.
Looking at 2 fishes in front of me, a male and female, swimming together for rounds, is it a hint? Any meaning? Grandpa and mama soon will be together? She is torturing at the moment, no longer can intake the foods or drink. Live with the only oxygen, and be told by doctor, her organ no longer functioning.  I asked my sister, whether she still recognize people, "she knock her head when I called her", my sister said. I might be cruel for not to visit her for last, but it is logical thinking.

29/12/2013

Human, come and go ....  It just depend on how long....
Appreciate with what you have now, and do whatever you think is good, never be regret. Never ever....

I love you mama, God bless you....